I’m in my early 30’s and I remember the website Hot or Not like it was yesterday. My girlfriends and I would get on the site and look at the women. Yes, as women we look at women to compare ourselves… do we look better than them or do they look better than us?
This website allowed you to rate people on a scale of 1-10 solely based on their looks. Because of sites like this society has been trained to judge others at a first glance based on their looks rather than looking into their soul to see if they are a quality person that will be a supportive friend, loving companion or awesome employee.
Fast forward to my mid twenties when I got sick and tired of trying on a million pair of pants each morning only to find one that somewhat fit but I still felt extremely uncomfortable. I wanted to look better in my body so I read magazines that gave me nutrition and exercise tips then, I found physique competitions.
My world was flipped upside down when I discovered the world of competing. These women looked AMAZING. Rock solid stomachs, perfectly plump glutes, beautiful hair and makeup, they had it all. They looked happy, healthy and confident which is exactly what I wanted so I asked “where do I sign up?”
2009 I competed in my first Bikini competition. I was on cloud 9. I was now part of a group of women who in my eyes were a 10 on the Richter scale but personally I had not reached my 10 so I signed up for a few more shows knowing that if I pushed my body to the extreme through longer, more intense workouts and deprived my body of more and more food I would one day get to a 10.
A few years into competing, I looked good on the outside but I was miserable on the inside. Through the tireless workouts I had no energy. I could hardly gather the energy for a workout let alone find energy to spend time with friends or family. From the deprivation of food I was constantly thinking about food and living for my next meal. Throughout the years of competing I became depressed, lost my menstrual cycle and started questioning my reasons to compete. Competing was not making me feel the way I thought it would.
This is the moment I realized that being a 10 is not in our outward appearance rather in our inner self.
In 2014 I decided it was time for a change. I stopped and looked at what I truly want from life. I want to spend quality time with my family and friends. I want to find a life partner. I want to exercise and eat healthy for the love of it, not because it was forced to look a certain way. I wanted to be happy within my soul so that I could be happy to the external world.
Being a 10 to me now means getting to new places on the inside of myself. I have been on my inner strength journey for 2 years and each day I get closer to being a 10. I put myself first because I believe the healthier I am mentally the more I can give to those around me. I want to share my daily practice with you in hopes you can see that your outward appearance says nothing about the person you are on the inside. I am sure you seen a woman that is drop dead gorgeous but is so negative on the inside you couldn’t spend more than 30 seconds with her, don’t let that be you.
Kalene’s steps to become an Internal 10
- Slow Down – start taking time to connect with yourself
- Meditate – sit in silence and start listening to your inner guidance. This is such a powerful tool because the moment you slow down and listen to your inner guidance all your unanswered questions will be answered and life will seem effortless.
- Journal – write down your highs and lows, learn to manifest what you want in life through journaling and make this a time for you to be authentic in your thoughts.
- Find a Mentor – I was the first person to say “I don’t need a mentor or counselor because I can handle my own issues.” I am now the first person to say that you can not handle your own issues. I have had my biggest break throughs with my soul sisters group (ladies I LOVE you!) and with my counselor.
- Clean up Social Media – delete the Instagram accounts you follow that are images of hot bodies, stop looking at blogs that are geared toward outward appearance and start reading self help books, blogs that are uplifting and follow people that are making changes in the spiritual world.
Your action now is to take small steps daily to transition from an ego based mindset to an inner guidance mindset and work your way up to being a 10 internally.
I pray that you will get there.